Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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