if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
