Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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