For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
