were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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