Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
