So drunk its hurt
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
