I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
