I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
