why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am available for nakedness
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
