hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
