A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
