before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
