he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
