Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
