Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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