i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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