How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
