Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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