i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
