he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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