I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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