i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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