help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
