my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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