the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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