Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
