He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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