PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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