Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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