party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
