Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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