I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
