Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
