id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
