you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
