I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
