i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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