she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
