Its about making memories worth repressing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
