she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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