she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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