Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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