you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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