I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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