This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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