Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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