sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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