Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
