you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
