if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
