In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
