We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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