apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
